Feeling Like an Elder Brother

I have never once felt cramped or ill at ease in Kan Kikuchi’s company. At the same time, I have never found him dull. I suspect that if I spent an entire day wandering about with him, I would never grow tired of it. (Though Kikuchi himself might perhaps grow tired of me.) The reason is that whenever I am with him, I always feel as though I am with an elder brother. I feel that he understands my good points, of course, and that even if my bad side were to show, he would still sympathize with me. In fact, looking back over my past experience, there has never been a time when this proved untrue. It is only that I, who ought to play the younger brother, sometimes lean too heavily on his goodwill and let myself grow unreasonably overfamiliar; but even that, I would say, is only because he truly gives one the feeling of being an elder brother.

Part of this fraternal feeling, of course, must come from Kikuchi’s learning. His cultivation is broad, and in each field his understanding is thorough. Yet I think what chiefly makes him seem like an elder brother is the completeness of his character as a human being. And what sort of person is he? It is hard to explain in a few words, but if one were to wash away all the vulgar overtones that cling to the phrase "a man who has known hardship," then Kikuchi is exactly that: a splendid man tempered by hardship. The proof is this: even for someone like me, who ordinarily takes pleasure in sharp and malicious argument, when I debate some issue with Kikuchi, even if I win, I somehow feel there is something hollow in my own position, and I cannot take any real satisfaction in the victory. Still more, when I lose, I feel rather wretched, as though a sensible old uncle had delivered a perfectly justified opinion with grave seriousness. In either case, I think the reason is that, in thought and in feeling alike, Kikuchi has suffered and struggled more than I have. And so even in more ordinary matters, when I consult him about practical problems in everyday life, he gathers his thoughts and considers everything from my point of view better than anyone else. That ability to put himself in another’s place is something that we, and especially I, cannot imitate. Indeed, to tell the truth, there are times when I privately take pride in not even thinking about my own problems from my own point of view. As a matter of fact, up to the present day, I have repeatedly had Kikuchi think through my problems more from my own standpoint than I myself ever have. There is no one else in the world, at least for now, who gives me so strong a sense of having an elder brother as Kan Kikuchi does.

There are still other matters I would like to write about, but as for Kikuchi’s art, I am planning to contribute a short essay on it to the New Year’s issue of Teikoku Bungaku, so I shall leave that subject aside here. Let me add, in passing, that among the members of the Shinshicho circle, Kikuchi is the finest father and husband of them all.